


no one has me like you do, baby

by magisterequitum



Category: Veep
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-07 13:36:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5458343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magisterequitum/pseuds/magisterequitum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years ago, when Amy had been <i>new</i> and just recruited, before even Selina had been around to snatch her to her side, Dan had come walking in. Amy had been attracted to his shark smile and nice suit and they'd kissed in Argentina on a simple mission. </p><p>Until three weeks later, when he'd left her stranded with a broken ankle in an alley and taken all the credit for stealing what the agency had been after for months then.</p>
            </blockquote>





	no one has me like you do, baby

**Author's Note:**

  * For [goddesspharo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddesspharo/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide, Goddesspharo! 
> 
> I wanted to give you spies and Amy/Dan and pull things in from the show. So there's stuff from season three and four that kind of get twisted together here. It was great fun to write and imagine these two being ridiculous spies and Selina's office failing at espionage. I hope you have a lovely holiday and new year!!!

Amy likes it when Dan suffers. 

Or maybe she likes it better when she is the one making him that way. 

If she was a better person, someone that didn't make a living from ruining lives, stealing secrets, and sometimes killing people, she'd sit down and think that thought out. Normal people don't like when others hurt. Normal people don't get a thrill out of watching their partner get kicked around. 

Amy's not normal though. 

Dan looks better with some bruises and red streaked across his smug handsome face. 

She's got other things to worry about than figuring out just what it means that the sight of Dan like this makes her wet before he even gets his hands between her legs. It's not his fingers that are fucked up. She doesn't need much else from him to get off. 

After, she leaves him to stitch himself up while she makes the call to Selina. 

 

 

Selina's office is in a tucked away building off from the Mall. Officially, they all have boring jobs for the government that come with bland generic business cards. Unofficially, they don't exist. Amy reports to Selina. Selina reports to whoever. 

It's not Amy's job to know _that_. 

"How did you manage to fuck up the file?" Dan asks, looking about two seconds short from murdering Mike. 

Amy's certain one day he might. Dan does the killing. Amy does the stealing and charming and all around being better than anyone else in their espionage cell. The two of them and their skills make for a perfect pair. It's why Selina keeps putting them together on assignments. 

Mike keeps hitting the same button on the laptop as if that will answer his problem. 

"I got my nose broken for this. I took a knife to the face. I'm missing part of my eyebrow. It's gonna scar, you fucker." 

"Oh shut up, Dan," Amy snaps. His whining had reached a high pitched level. He's good for orgasms that keep her sane, but not much else. She's certain she could do better solo. 

She's been unsuccessful in convincing Selina of that for years now. 

"Got it!" Mike gives them a sheepish grin under his terrible mustache he thinks is a good look for him. "Had the wrong USB in." 

She's certain she can do better than all of them. 

 

 

Years ago, when Amy had been _new_ and just recruited, before even Selina had been around to snatch her to her side, Dan had come waltzing in. He had been new too. Amy had been attracted to his shark smile and nice suit and they'd kissed in Argentina on a simple mission. 

She'd liked him. 

Until three weeks later he'd left her stranded with a broken ankle in an alley and taken all the credit for stealing what the agency had been after for months then. 

She's never forgiven him. 

She's never forgotten. 

 

 

Amy's not certain she can do better than any of them. Better than Dan. 

She knows she can.

See, Dan and her might be a pair, but everyone knows how much Dan is the current favorite. He's a snake and all around shit person. He's good at what he does though, and in this business that's all that matters. 

"Selina's sending you to London," Sue says without even looking away from her computer screen. 

"Me?" 

"You and Dan." 

Amy opens her mouth. Before she can say anything, Sue cuts her off. 

Dismissal over the clicks of her keyboard. "Don't want to hear it. The details have been sent to your phones. Good day." 

 

 

In London, Amy gets her revenge. 

 

 

Amy's not the sort to not have every detail planned out. She's certainly not the type of person to fuck up an assignment just to fuck over Dan. It's a bonus that she gets to have both happen. 

See, written in Dan's personnel file, that does not exist for anyone who asks if it does, are all his habits and potential _issues_. Just how in her's, it says "compulsive and prone to rage fits", Dan's has comments too. Like "narcissist", "egotistical", and "shows no sign of loyalty beyond blackmail and money". 

What's not written, is that when pushed Dan can fall to his anxiety and paranoia. 

Amy knows. 

You just have to push the right buttons. 

All she has to do is say a few choice words, ask real sweetly for Jonah to stick his nose into it, and watch the pieces fall. 

She doesn't feel the slightest bit bad leaving him stuck in a hospital while she flies back to D.C.

 

 

 

"You left Dan in London?" 

Selina's question curls with something like pride. If Selina was the type to give out compliments or generally take notice of any of them beyond her own ambitions; Amy's not mocking it, she can appreciate. 

"Yes, ma'am." 

"Nicely done, Amy." She even gets a smile this time. A small one before her boss turns and walks back to her desk, shiny high heels squeaking. Confirmation Selina doesn't give a shit about any of them. At least for the moment it's not Amy she likes least. "Gary, goddammit I told you these heels are terrible." 

Amy leaves them to deal with that; Selina cursing and Gary apologizing. 

 

 

"You found your way back," she says three nights later as she sits on the edge of Dan's couch. 

Dan lives in this row house he bought and decorated in dark woods and terrible lights. It screams bachelor whose daddy didn't love him enough more than it does I'm a spy employed by the government in a shady way. 

His eyes are hateful as he glares at her. There's stubble all over his chin, and she bets the shirt he has on he's worn for days now. "You fucking bitch," he hisses. 

Amy licks her lips at that. Insults are how they communicate best. "Don't be a sore loser, Danny boy." 

"You know, Ames, I didn't think you had it in you to be so low," Dan says, his mouth twisting in a sneer. 

She rolls her eyes, shifting her hands that cup the elbows of her crossed arms. She grins because the movement makes her blouse stretch across her breasts and she catches Dan's eyes dropping from her face. "Argentina." 

The skin between his eyebrows pinch, lips falling slack in confusion. He blinks and then gets it. Arching an eyebrow, he scoffs loudly in the otherwise quiet darkness of his living room. "Seriously? That was years ago." 

"I didn't forget," she snaps. She stands up, her heels hitting the wood floors hard. 

Neither of them pretend not to notice how his eyes drop to her bare legs. 

 

 

"You fucking bitch," he repeats ten minutes later when he's pulling her skirt down her hips.

Dan's not bleeding, and his stitches from their last assignment have healed over. His eyebrow's starting to fill back in, but that scar will stick. She hums, grabbing onto the bare skin of his back where he's already lost his clothes. "Whatever you say."

He's not nice as he fucks her. His fingers hold her too tight, and his teeth bite at her lips. 

It's fine. If Amy wanted _nice_ she wouldn't be here in the first place. 

 

 

Amy doesn't do nice. 

(The closest they come to nice is how sometimes Dan will look at her with eyes that seem soft and caring. How he likes to hurt anyone that looks too closely at her or gets too close. How he hates when Amy goes on one of her cycles of trying to date a normal guy and be a normal person. 

Amy pretends she doesn't notice any of these things.)

She doesn't need nice. 

 

 

Selina sends her away on a solo assignment. 

When she comes back Dan still has the beard. It's taken over his lower face. 

Amy stops at the edge of his desk. She's always thought it funny they have actual desks. She guesses it's to keep up appearances. "Did I break you this bad?" she asks, laughing.

Dan doesn't respond. He doesn't even look at her. His mouth stays a straight line and not a muscle twitches on his face. 

Mike pokes his head up over his computer to look at her. "He's been like that for days. He hasn't called Jonah fucknut even once." 

Unblinking, Dan says nothing to Mike. It's unlike him entirely. He's been replaced by a pod person. 

 

 

"What, do you need me to fuck you better?" Amy asks later in the week when the beard is still around and Dan hasn't snapped at anyone. It's just pathetic at this point. Not that she cares. 

If he's a walking zombie she can't make him suffer. And it's boring without the only other person in their unit that can challenge her. 

Still she tells him, glaring up at him and his stupid face. "Get it the fuck together."

 

 

She gets sent to Finland next. 

Seated against the window, Amy's wondering if she can justify ordering a drink as soon as they're up in the air. She's never really been into flying. She also doesn't care if it is only eleven in the morning. 

A body thumps into the seat next to her. Familiar cologne hits her nose, and a hand she knows too well snatches up her passport she's got out on her tray. 

"Linda Glenholm? Nice name there, Ames."

She jerks her fake passport away from Dan, glaring at him as best she can from her tiny airplane seat. "Fuck you, Dan. Like any of yours are ever better."

He laughs because it's true. The unit gives them shit fake names. 

Watching him shove his bag under the seat and click his belt into place, Amy notices the beard is gone. She squints. "What are you doing here?"

"Selina sent me along too. Wouldn't want you to miss me, darling." His tone oozes faux concern. It's reminiscent of the times they've been a fake couple on assignments. 

"Whatever," Amy says, knowing she will be ordering drinks on this plane now. She smiles, showing all her teeth till her cheeks ache. "I get to call the shots, _sweetie._ " 

The look he gives her back in reply promises retribution. He's here though when she's willing to bet he's the one that asked to come, not Selina making him go. 

Dan's easy like that. Easy for her. 

Maybe she'll leave him in Finland. Or maybe she'll let him get his in the face. He's due new stitches anyway. 

She likes him that way.


End file.
